Introduction/Show Notes:

In this episode of UNtracing Trauma, JeGaysus speaks with Danielle, a clinical sex therapist and clinical sexologist with over a decade of experience in the field of therapy. Danielle specializes in helping individuals who have experienced trauma due to purity culture. She is passionate about helping people heal from their past traumas.

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In this episode, Jegaysus and Danielle discuss the impact of purity culture on individuals and how it can lead to trauma. They explore the role of shame in purity culture and how it can keep people stuck in a cycle of self-blame and self-hatred. Additionally, they dive into the importance of self-compassion and self-care in the healing process, the role of therapy in healing from trauma, and the importance of community support in healing from trauma. They also touch on the impact of compulsory heterosexuality on society and the potential for radicalization of young men who feel entitled to sex.

• Introduction and background of the guest (00:00 - 01:35 )


• Defining purity culture and its impact on individuals (01:36 - 06:05 )


• The role of shame in purity culture (06:06 - 09:15 )


• How purity culture can lead to trauma (09:16 - 12:50 )


• Danielle's journey to becoming a therapist specializing in religious trauma (10:18 - 14:08 )


• The importance of self-compassion and self-care in the healing process (12:51 - 17:05 )


• The role of therapy in healing from trauma (17:06 - 20:55 )


• How to find a therapist who specializes in trauma (20:56 - 23:30 )


• The importance of community and support in healing from trauma (23:31 - 26:35 )


• The impact of purity culture on power dynamics and sexual assault (15:16 - 18:41 )


• Compulsory heterosexuality and its impact on society (18:41 - 22:15 )


• The impact of compulsory heterosexuality on asexual individuals (20:20 - 22:15 )


• The potential for radicalization of young men and the importance of avoiding incel territory (25:16 - 29:40 )


• The manosphere and its impact on society (30:11 - 34:26 )


• Final thoughts and takeaways (26:36 - 28:33 )

Hot topics

• Danielle shares that she was raised Catholic but never subscribed to the faith. She grew up in a strict purity culture environment, which led her to become interested in sex therapy and clinical sex research.

• Danielle defines purity culture as a system of beliefs that places a high value on sexual abstinence and emphasizes the importance of remaining "pure" until marriage.


• Purity culture can have a profound impact on individuals, particularly those who were raised in religious households. It can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame.

• Shame is a powerful emotion that can keep people stuck in a cycle of self-blame and self-hatred.


• Purity culture often uses shame as a tool to control behavior

• Trauma is not just about what happened to you, but also about how it impacted you and how it continues to impact you.


• Purity culture can lead to trauma by creating a sense of fear and shame around sexuality, which can impact an individual's relationships and overall mental health.

• Research in the late 2000s brought attention to the harmful impact of purity culture, which led Danielle to specialize in religious trauma.

• Therapy can be a powerful tool in healing from trauma, particularly when it comes to religious trauma.


• Finding a therapist who specializes in trauma is important because they have the training and expertise to help you heal in a safe and supportive environment.

• Danielle recommends using the Psychology Today Therapist Finder to find therapists who specialize in trauma.


• It's important to find a therapist who is a good fit for you and who you feel comfortable working with.

• Compulsory heterosexuality can also play a role in the way that power dynamics and sexual assault are perpetuated within religious communities.

• Compulsory heterosexuality is the idea that heterosexuality is the only acceptable sexual orientation and that everything else is deviant or wrong.